What to do...

So, my femara prescription ran out last month. So on CD 3, which was Labor Day, I couldn't taking it to start another cycle. I had intended to call the RE and get a refill but, I didn't. I just forgot. So we are doing a natural cycle this time. We did a natural cycle in July, if you recall, and I cycled just fine. It was such a blessing to feel like my body worked the way it was supposed to.

We have been talking more lately about where we are in our journey. We are coming up on year three and I feel tired. Tired of trying every cycle with not a single cycle with a confirmed positive. Cycle after cycle of hoping and optimism.

5 cycles of Clomid.
30 cycles of Metformin.
12 cycles of Femara.
5 IuI's.
2 cycles with Bravelle and trigger shot.
1 HSG.
Countless ultrasounds (transvaginal as well as regular)
So many needle pricks I don't even flinch any more

I know there are so many others who have been trying longer, done more meds or IVF's...I know I am not alone. I just feel tired. Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results...right?

So I am left wondering, where do we go now? Do I keep trying with Femara and IUI's? We can't afford IVF. It isn't even an option for us right now.

Do we move forward with doing foster care?

I know we will have children...someday. I will hold children in my arms that will call me mom. When and how, I have no idea. I don't know how to move forward when it hurts to consider not trying and hurts to consider continuing to try. It is just that place that is hard.