Dedicated to the Other Tolerator

So, it has been going on for years. I have watched as others have been sucked in and I have stood by hoping not to see another person I know fall into the trap. He is like poison ivy...painful and makes you feel that constant urge to itch. When you do itch, it is like heaven, but it bleeds and leaves a scar.

I beg of you...don't fall prey to his spell!

I watched in disgust That 70's Show. Dude, Where's My Car was further proof of his heinousness.

Don't think I haven't had my weak moments, I have. Have you seen The Guardian? It's like he has acting skill. And then there was What Happens in Vegas...

Oh, I have been weak. But I know better now. I can barely stand the guy.

He sneaks up on you, in those Nikon commercials between Glee and Friday Night Lights, trying to be all nice guy and stuff. And he has this twitter account where he talks all about world peace. Trying to reel you in.

Don't forget the scars that itching can leave!

And don't, under any circumstances, go see his new movie, Killers. Don't. That will be one itch that will leave a scar. A big one.

Oh Boy

I did my taxes today. Always and interesting thing in my opinion. Good news is, I get a nice return. Never mind that I already spent it on the cruise or that it has places to go...but I am getting a nice return.

I made a wonderful grammatical error today...that made me feel like the idiot I'm not. I turned to a child, after looking and talking to her mother and said, "Who is her?"

Seriously, who does that?

Me.

We all laughed about it, but what was I thinking?

Oh My

I laughed so hard at this poor boy! Enjoy the video and the laughing. My present to you today. :)

Great Friends

I only hope my friends are as supportive as this lovely lady's are. ;)

Our Story

*This is the Disclaimer. PLEASE read all of the blog before over-reacting!*


Well the beginning is a predictable place to start, but that is where everyone seems to think that it should start. Well our story begins before the beginning. So would it be classified as the prelude? The prequel? I don’t know. What I do know is I dated the duds before my stud. Not that they weren’t some of them nice and great guys, they were in the beginning at least! Well you might think this isn't an important part of the story, but it is important. The duds are what got me involved with online dating. I know some of you scoff at the idea that you could possibly stoop to the point where that would be an option! But why shouldn’t it be? I mean not all people you meet online are crazies and kooks. I know a girl that met her husband online and they are perfect for each other! Half of the classes I have at school are with people who married someone they met online. Crazy! But it was there that I got involved with the group texters anonymous. Yes, I love to text. I text all the time. I text my family and friends…everyone! I have unlimited texts so why shouldn’t I? It isn’t my fault that others don’t have unlimited texting and can’t control themselves.
Well one day I got a text about the next meeting from this guy, Elijah. It was cute and to the point, “2 much texting? Never! Jk meetng @ 3 Cya”
Random texts, who doesn’t love those?
So at the TAG (texters anonymous group) meeting we started talking and then texted through the boring speaker who talked about how talking to each other was better than texting because you go to hear emotion in their voice, some blather like that.
So we texted for the next week before I got annoyed and finally just asked him out myself. Over text of course! Our first date was amazing. We took a walk around the duck pond where I texted him and asked if he wanted to make-out. This was of course a JOKE. I do not kiss BOYS! Ha ha ha (ok, so mom is reading this and I have to pretend that I don’t, cause I am sure at this point she has no idea that I do! Ha ha ha!)
We went bowling, which is the best, and then had sushi. It was perfect. After he dropped me off we texted for a while and then we had our first text kiss. He was saying good night and “kissed” me through text. Ah, how sweet!
So, after 6 days of this we decided to elope. Yep, I was an eloper! Afterward we of course texted everyone we knew to let them know.




This was Emily's Blog Challenge. We were supposed to tell how we met our other half. Seeing as I am lacking the other half, I just made up a story. But hey, it could happen, right?

Funny

A friend who got married about a year ago sent this to me with a great message attached. While I don't have experience with this I can only imagine. It was good enough to pass along.

It made me think twice when my husband sent this to me.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?!
I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

So You Think You are Having A Bad Day?

So in giving an end of the semester presentation about different fonts, their histories and the color wheel in my technical writing class, a group mate and friend I will call Suzette (to hide her beat-red-blushing real name) my friend made a Colossus mistake. She was trying to say "this font sucks!" when instead she switched the letters around and inadvertently said, "this sont..." fill in that blank. This in the front of the entire class and a shocked professor. OPPS!