Dawn is Coming

Oh my, it has been a few weeks. I had some very serious and emotionally charged situations that required a great deal of my time and energy. I let a lot fall by the wayside in an effort to best handle and help.

I even slacked on my fitness blog! You know it is serious then.

I think I have grown a lot in the last few weeks. In ways no one should have to but I am so grateful that I am able to get something out of it. You have to find something to get out of your bad experiences or what were they worth? It is a pain but I have learned so much.

1) I can deal with things I think are way beyond my mental capacity. I am calm in crisis and save the breakdowns for a day or two later after the initial shock. I don't know if that is the best way to handle things, but it is how I do it.

2) That there will be evil in the most unlikely places. You have to always be prepared. While there is also evil, there is the saving grace of our saviors love. He suffered all our pain both physical and emotional and there is immense joy and peace knowing that. What a blessing to know that the Lord blessed us with an older brother who knows all our pain!

3) Wisdom and maturity are two different things. To be blessed with both is an awesome blessing.

4) I am too busy living my life to be aware of the "lack of's" in my life. My greatest blessing.

5) That we are often blessed in the most unexpected ways.

6) That service in the time of crisis is the hardest and best thing I have ever done and have received.

7) Every child should be loved. I have been reminded how important adoption is and how much I want to be a part of it.

9) That I am loved beyond measure. That I am rallied around and buoyed up in my times of need by the people who love me. I am humbled and forever grateful.

10) That hate, holding a grudge and perpetuating bad feelings/relationships is poison. It will only eat away at you and make you miserable. I have sadly done/felt all of these things and the burden that has been lifted by letting it go has been amazing.

It is always darkest before the dawn and I have a feeling there is dawn coming.

Hard Days

It has been a long emotional week. Details aren't needed, but everything hurt this week.

I would cry at the drop of hat, I had less patience at work, needed more sleep than my body would give and my migraine is still pounding away.

I was reminded a few times today though, that this is worth it. All the crazy, hard days are worth it.

My road isn't clear to me, I don't know where I am going, but what I do know is that as long as I have faith and the strength to keep plugging away, it will work out.

The beauty is in the journey, even on the hard days.

What I Am

I have found great comfort in my religion. I have found faith in my future, peace in my current position and desire to be more than I am. I have hard times and tough days, but it always comes back to my deep love of my Father in Heaven and my Savior.

Today I talked with a friend who is struggling with her faith. Hard times and lack of support have made her unsure. I wanted to reach out and hug her and give her a piece of my faith and let her feel of the peace the abounds in my life. And it was then that I learned a very important and special lesson.

I have felt the sting of disappointment, the fear of losing people, and the uncertainty of the things I believe in. As I looked in my dear friends face I saw a lonely and scared look that I have seen before, reflected back at me in the mirror.

My life's mission may not be to be a famous actress, an award winning poet, or a mother to lots of children, but I do know what it is. If I can ease the burden of those around me, even for a moment, I will have succeeded. I may not be what I imagined I would be or what society thinks I should be, but I am happy. I am a strong, determined and faith filled woman.

And that, is a blessing.