Hard Blessings

It's been a rough week. In good and bad ways.

I have two best friends who mean the world to me. I trust them and love them both so much. In the last few weeks, both have shared the wonderful news that they are pregnant.

I am so excited for both of them. One is having her first and the other her fourth. I was so happy to share in their news. And, sadly, conflicted with sadness and frustration.

While I was so happy for them there was a part of me that cried out, "not fair!". We have been doing everything right, temping, met, clomid, tracking cm and the giant prenatals. We have been trying for 15 months and have come up short over and over. I cried that I couldn't share in this with them. I cried that my dream seemed to be happening for everyone but me.

It will hurt until it is my turn. But, I will also be so happy and excited for those around me. My sadness in not being pregnant in no way affects my happiness for those around me that are.

Girls Night, Interupted

So we had a girls night. 5 of us friends went out to dinner at Texas Road House and enjoyed every minute of it. My new low carb lifestyle was decently handled by ordering salmon and a salad with no dressing. I had one bite of the rolls I got and brought the rest home to Jared. Yummy!

Then we decided to go bowling. Which was awesome. One of the girls bailed on us so Jared came along. We had a blast! Not to mention that we won some free bowling. So nice!

I have been so busy lately that I forgot how fun it can be to be able to just laugh with your friends and act goofy. I needed that so much!

Quick Getaway

We enjoyed the chance this weekend to get away with some friends. We went up to Crystal Hot Springs and camped Friday and enjoyed the hot pots and water slides on Saturday. It was a blast! We have such great friends!

First Fireworks of the Season

We enjoyed the first fireworks of the season last night. We have a soft spot for fireworks an often joke that we fell in love during fireworks. It was at fireworks on the 4th of July that we both realized that we really liked each other and really wanted to spend a lot of time together. So, fireworks are special to us.

We loved being able to share them friends. After a giant pizza feast on the front lawn we piled in the back of the truck and headed out. I love the little ones and we like the big kids too.

There is lots of fireworks in our future this summer and I can't wait.

Hanging out in the Grass

Luckily, my next door neighbor and I are friends. Lazy summer evenings we meet on the lawn, chat about our days and laugh. Her kids adore Jared and love playing baseball with him.

Yesterday we decided that as we talked we would "chalk dye" her nieces hair. Isn't it fun? What a great summer activity.

It is so nice to have her to chat with and for Jared to have friends to play with. We look forward to many more lazy summer days with her and the kids.

Counting Blessings

My friend Jacque said something on facebook that really hit home with me.

"People tend to weed themselves out of your life...and I am ok with that. It makes more room for the ones that want to be there."

I often dwell on the people who have left my life. This one because of this, that one because of that...and what she said is true. The ones who want to be in my life, are. They find redeeming qualities and good things about me. They care about me.

The people who aren't in my life aren't there because they don't want to be.

It is too easy to focus on the loss of people but I am choosing this week to think about the people that are a part of my life, not the ones who aren't. It's time to count my blessings and share what I can.

Four's

For Ms. Micquellyn:

4 Things on my Wish List

1. Success at my 5k in ONE WEEK
2. My Cruise to be here now
3. Having lost the last 60 lbs already
4. New clothes that fit

4 Shows I Watch

1. Biggest Loser
2. Flash Forward
3. The Amazing Race
4. Modern Family

4 Things I'm Passionate About

1. My weight loss and helping others with theirs
2. my hair
3. Kids
4. Music

4 Phrases I say a lot

1. Oh Man!
2. For Serious?
3. Pumpernickel!
4. Swiper no swiping

4 Things I've learned from the Past

1. You choose your reaction, not your consequences
2. Do it today, tomorrows stack up
3. It is easier if you just do what God wants you to do the first time
4. You can fake almost anything, except being yourself

4 Places I want to Go

1. Belize
2. Russia
3. Honduras
4. On a cruise

4 Things I did Yesterday

1. Went to work
2. Worked out
3. Got my hair cut
4. went to bed too late!

4 Things I'm looking Forward to

1. Losing the last 60 lbs
2. My Cruise
3. My 5k
4. sharing secrets

4 Things I love about Winter

1. Hot Chocolate
2. Watching the snow fall
3. The Holidays
4. COATS!

Mr. Irrelevant

I am always amazed at the amazing people I have met. I sat next to Tim Toone in sunday school and Sacrament meeting for years and here he is, making news. I am happy for him. What a small world, huh?

Vegas Jr.

So some friends and I are heading to Vegas Jr. Which is actually Wendover, NV.

Full of all the Vegas glitz and craziness at lots smaller size and price. It is pretty much really cheesy but we are super excited. Why you ask? let me tell you.

.

Sugar Ray.

See, we got some amazing tickets to see this entertaining group. Sure, none of us know more than a hand full of songs and none of us have heard from them in years, but how could we not go? I mean, have you seen Mark McGrath?

See, he is attractive. But the real reason is just for fun. A quick road trip, a huge hotel room and a crazy fun concert. We just had the need to get away from life for a while and have a little fun.

Some of my best friends are going with me and I am excited. Everyone needs a break and this is a chance to have some fun. So, in 14 days, I will be having a blast. Yes.

Pre-Birthday Bash

I have some pretty great friends.

We spent the day giggling and laughing and all in all just having fun.

We started out with a movie, "When in Rome" which was funny. Not the best movie ever, but it was cute. I laughed pretty hard.

We had a few minutes to kill until our dinner reservation was ready so we headed over to Deseret Book and browsed and of course found tons to buy.

Then dinner at a great place, The Sonoran Grill, so good! I loved my fish tacos with mango salsa. So yummy. We had enough of us that we got our own room! Definitely made the day more entertaining.

Then, we went and painted pottery. It was so much fun! I will share pictures soon, I am just ready to get to bed. But it was so much fun. I painted this amazingly cute teapot-for-one where the teapot sits on top of the cup and it is just adorable. Can you guess the colors I did?

I really just had a great time. I have pretty great friends and am so blessed and lucky. It was a great early birthday present. And next week we get the REAL birthday stuff. I can hardly wait.

Soundtrack to My Life

Music just grabs at my soul. I know I am not the only one. Sometimes music puts words to feelings I had but couldn't start to figure out how to say. I am always looking for new interesting music and am not disappointed by a few of my favorites. There are just a few people who always get me with their lyrics and I know I can browse my library of stuff from these two or three people/groups and come up with something to fit my mood. Always.

Currently:

Lighting strikes

inside, my chest to keep me up at night

to dream of ways

to make you understand my pain...

Drop his name

push it in and twist the knife again

watch my face

as I pretend to feel no pain...

How come the only way to see how high you get me

is to see how far I fall

God only knows how much I'd love you if you'd let me

but I can't break through it all...

Good to know it's all a game

disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare...

I belt these lyrics out at the top my lungs, tears streaming down my face with a few names running through my head. I love that these lyrics can say exactly what I am feeling right now.

5 Year Ago

I am so grateful today for my amazing friend Liz.

We were roommate in college and while we were both a little crazy at the time over the years our relationship has developed into more than just crazy roommates. Our lives took very different paths and yet, that hasn't stopped us at all. She is always a listening ear, an impartial judge and a great encouragement to me. She believes in me when I doubt.

I see her struggle with the bits and pieces of her life and at the same time I see her push for what she wants and strive to be the best mom she can be. She inspires me to be more and want more.

5 years ago I may not have believed it if someone told me that we would still be such good friends, but we are. And everyday, I am grateful.

Three Cute Girls

I have some of the best friends. Everyone says that and means it, I know. I am grateful for amazing friends who I can laugh with, relate to and enjoy.

New Fangled

Sometimes the new

kicks out the old

to make room for shiny, bright things

but often the old were better than new

but you only know

once they've been replaced

.

Too often the old get thrown out

or shoved

to the back of a dark closet corner

there they sit

just biding their time

until those new shiny things

will replace it again

this time

in that dark closet corner

.

The moral my friends

isn't to toss or give it away

but take thought to the things you replace

though they may be shiny

sometimes the old just do the trick

better than any new fangled

updated version

of our respectable old things

.

Old friends are especially hard to replace

though the updated version is nice

the old stories and laughter

sometimes just do the trick

when the newest version just won't suffice

What a Weekend!

As you may have noticed I have had a pretty great weekend.

Thursday night I went to a seminar entitled "How not to fall for a jerk!". It was entertaining if not common sense stuff.

Friday night I met my friends Lisa and Mallory for dinner. We enjoyed soup and great bread at Great Harvest with a side of hot chocolate.

Then we joined the crowds for the Dashboard Confessional concert. It was so much fun! I did get caught in the mosh pit but I oddly didn't mind that much. It was kind of fun.

After the concert we decided to go see "Leap Year". Oh my goodness, it was hilarious! We laughed so hard through the movie. It is definitely worth seeing.

Saturday I got tickets to Best of Fest from Sundance Film Festival. So exciting to see movies at Sundance, always good movies.

Then I headed up the mountain and watched some Dew Tour action. It is amazing at what some of those snowboarders and Skiers can do. I have no desire to do most of it, but it was still pretty cool to watch.

Then this evening I caught up on laundry and started planing for a cruise with friends. So excited to go! I have wanted to go on a cruise for a while but no one has wanted to go with me until now. So we are trying to decide if we do eastern Caribbean or just Bahamas. Either way I am excited about it.

Joy To The World

Well, as with everyone else, I will share my Christmas weekend experience.

On Christmas Eve I enjoyed a dinner or wheat tortellini with Alfredo sauce, all homemade. Great recipe for pasta and Alfredo from friends. I enjoyed some quiet time in a bubble bath and then watched some cheesy and perfectly wonderful Hallmark movies. It was a wonderful evening. I headed over to midnight mass at the catholic church by my place, they end the mass in the most beautiful caroling of my favorite Christmas Carols.

Christmas morning I woke up and enjoyed waffles for breakfast and opened the "Santa" gifts under my tree. I spent the lunch time caroling at a nursing home. I enjoyed the chance to sing some of my favorites to people who didn't know if I messed up or care that my soprano voice isn't really soprano.

That evening I spent enjoying Christmas dinner with friends and playing Beatles Rock band, scrabble and lots of other great games. Lots of food I tried not to eat, I enjoyed the cinnamon almonds more than I should have, but only had a few of almond m&m's.

Late in the evening when I got home I found Santa had come. Gifts had been left with nothing more than "For Nichole, Love Santa". What love and gratefulness I had.

Saturday morning came and I enjoyed some gym time and some great sales! I found the shoes I had been looking for on sale for half price. I found some other great stuff on sale too.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. I had an amazing Christmas, I hope you did too.

A Day Away

This week I had a chance to make the drive to Denever Colorado. Driving a rental there then flying home, kind of fun. The long drive was just what I needed. We left about 6am and this is what I saw an hour in to the drive.

Not as beautiful as it really was, the clouds pink and the moon still shining bright.

Then later at the airport with the others who drove different cars. Chad and Stephanie were hilarious in the airport.

All in all it was a much needed day of quiet for me. Time to think and to just be. So goodbye Denver and thank you for giving me a great day.

Scariest Sofa

I know that in the spirit of the season, and your great love of me, you would be willing to help me out, right? Cause I have a favor.

PLEASE help my friend Linda win new furniture. She was entered into the RC Willey Scariest Sofa Contest by her children. While a little mortified, the prize is new living room furniture. Linda needs it. Her couch #38 has been through 8 kids, lots of dogs, son-in-laws, grandkids and friends.

Linda is in need my friends and with two minutes you too can help her! Thanks!

Almost Time

Well guys, it is almost time. That is right...vacation is calling my name. Can you hear it? *Nichole....Nichole....*

And as we know the week before is full of eagerness, packing and sickness. Yeah, the sickness kills me. I got food poisoning on monday and spend monday night and tuesday with my best friend, the toilet. I puked and puked. When I was in high school I used to sleep next to the wall that shared the wall of the bathroom that my Dad used in the morning. My alarm clock was his puking in the mornings. It brought back flash-backs to those days and suddenlyI felt like my dad.

I ran around wednesday and thursday trying to catch up only to find myself coughing, sneezing, sore throat and runny nose were hot on my trail on friday. So as I load up on dayquil, I am hoping that it all gets out of my system by tuesday night.

Oh, and work this week was crazy! I had some woman accuse me (and another co-worker) of pulling her kids around the room and such. Well, video speaks for its self lady. Obviously we didn't and the video proved it. Moral of the story, if you don't have real proof, don't claim you do.

Went to the drive-in last night with some friends...so much fun! I was so happy that we got to get out and laugh. It was super fun.

Ok, enough of my week. I have pictures and I will post some soon. Maybe even get a few vacation ones this week too, haha!