Hard Blessings

It's been a rough week. In good and bad ways.

I have two best friends who mean the world to me. I trust them and love them both so much. In the last few weeks, both have shared the wonderful news that they are pregnant.

I am so excited for both of them. One is having her first and the other her fourth. I was so happy to share in their news. And, sadly, conflicted with sadness and frustration.

While I was so happy for them there was a part of me that cried out, "not fair!". We have been doing everything right, temping, met, clomid, tracking cm and the giant prenatals. We have been trying for 15 months and have come up short over and over. I cried that I couldn't share in this with them. I cried that my dream seemed to be happening for everyone but me.

It will hurt until it is my turn. But, I will also be so happy and excited for those around me. My sadness in not being pregnant in no way affects my happiness for those around me that are.