A Sometimes Hard Truth

Life changes often and I have to often remind myself of the following. How wonderful to remember there is often better things out there?

Thanksgiving Blessings

I shared Thanksgiving with my friend Jacque's family. It was fun to to play with the kids and spend the day in the kitchen laughing with her. She is a good friend and I am so happy to have had her in my life.

My contributions to the day were my homemade apple sauce, which is absolutely delicious, and Banana pudding. I had to beg her to let me bring those but both were a big hit and recipes were exchanged. That is what I call Christmas.

I am so grateful for wonderful people in my life who are willing to include me in their families. It makes the holidays that much more meaningful to me.

Its Getting So Close!

I'm in the home stretch of waiting for he cruise. I can hardly wait! We have booked everything but the airline tickets so far. those come this week.

We are doing some amazing things on the cruise. A jeep tour, swimming with dolphins, lots of beaches, zip lines, Mayan ruins, cooking with a renowned chef...and I can hardly wait. I have been working on this vacation forever it seems and I can hardly wait to have my chance to just take a week away from everything and enjoy the single life I love so much.

I have lost enough weight that I am happy to put on a bathing suit and play in the water and that feels good! The new wardrobe of sale rack items for the cruise makes me happy. I love that I got some super cheap clothes at the end of the season that I liked for the cruise. I can come home and not wear them again and feel like I got the $3-$5 worth I spent on my of them. I can even zip up my end of the year goal dress! It doesn't look great yet, but it zips and that is half that battle. I am not even sure that it will fit at the end of the year.

This last month was a battle, with being so sick and all, but I have learned to rely more on the love of my father in heaven. What greater blessing could I possibly be given? I am amazed daily at his love for me and I just live each day to the fullest in hopes that I live up to the potential he has given me.

Blessings of Teaching

I taught a lesson about Job today in Gospel Doctrine. It was such a blessing. It made me realize how much I have been tried (haven't we all?) and how many blessings I have been given because of that. I am so blessed to realize that my Father in Heaven loves me so very much to try me. I am so grateful for that testimony of my savior and that there is a plan for me. While it has not been the plan I imagined for me, it is the right one.

This is the 3rd week that I have been under the weather. I am bummed about it. Strep, with bronchitis, an allergic reaction to medication, poison ivy and I am back to a stomach bug again. I am so done being sick. It is one of those moments that I am grateful I am not a mom or wife...cause I am a whiny and unhappy sick person. I don't think I could handle taking care of others when I have felt this bad.

I have been so blessed in the last few weeks as well. I have a pretty great life and I am so happy, minus being sick.

Counting Blessings

My friend Jacque said something on facebook that really hit home with me.

"People tend to weed themselves out of your life...and I am ok with that. It makes more room for the ones that want to be there."

I often dwell on the people who have left my life. This one because of this, that one because of that...and what she said is true. The ones who want to be in my life, are. They find redeeming qualities and good things about me. They care about me.

The people who aren't in my life aren't there because they don't want to be.

It is too easy to focus on the loss of people but I am choosing this week to think about the people that are a part of my life, not the ones who aren't. It's time to count my blessings and share what I can.

Dawn is Coming

Oh my, it has been a few weeks. I had some very serious and emotionally charged situations that required a great deal of my time and energy. I let a lot fall by the wayside in an effort to best handle and help.

I even slacked on my fitness blog! You know it is serious then.

I think I have grown a lot in the last few weeks. In ways no one should have to but I am so grateful that I am able to get something out of it. You have to find something to get out of your bad experiences or what were they worth? It is a pain but I have learned so much.

1) I can deal with things I think are way beyond my mental capacity. I am calm in crisis and save the breakdowns for a day or two later after the initial shock. I don't know if that is the best way to handle things, but it is how I do it.

2) That there will be evil in the most unlikely places. You have to always be prepared. While there is also evil, there is the saving grace of our saviors love. He suffered all our pain both physical and emotional and there is immense joy and peace knowing that. What a blessing to know that the Lord blessed us with an older brother who knows all our pain!

3) Wisdom and maturity are two different things. To be blessed with both is an awesome blessing.

4) I am too busy living my life to be aware of the "lack of's" in my life. My greatest blessing.

5) That we are often blessed in the most unexpected ways.

6) That service in the time of crisis is the hardest and best thing I have ever done and have received.

7) Every child should be loved. I have been reminded how important adoption is and how much I want to be a part of it.

9) That I am loved beyond measure. That I am rallied around and buoyed up in my times of need by the people who love me. I am humbled and forever grateful.

10) That hate, holding a grudge and perpetuating bad feelings/relationships is poison. It will only eat away at you and make you miserable. I have sadly done/felt all of these things and the burden that has been lifted by letting it go has been amazing.

It is always darkest before the dawn and I have a feeling there is dawn coming.

Spoiled Rotten...by Me

I love kids. We all know it. While I am slightly bummed that I don't have little ones of my own, I am also super happy that I don't. I love the great kids I get to love and spoil regularly.

I have a collection of adorable and sweet kids who I just adore. I spoil them rotten and I know it. I am the best aunt you could ask for, money to spend and cute kids to spend it on! So, I spoil my little "nieces and nephews".

My girls are the most beautiful girls and I spoil them with puzzles, paints, books, make-up and clothes. Livy loves birds and is very into fashion. Kiki loves tigers and horses and loves to climb on things. Kayli is the most beautiful 9 month old in the universe. Seriously. She loves blocks and hugs.

My boys are pretty amazing, I won't lie. I have the best 2 1/2 year old in the universe with Kade. He babels about any and everything, loves trucks, blocks and gives the most wonderful hugs. Milo couldn't be more boy. Trucks, airplanes and trains are all the matter. Oh, and it is a requisite that at least 1/2 of everyday is spent jumping on the tramp with this 20 month old. I am always on the look out for new trucks and books about trucks and movies about trucks...my boys get them all.

So all in all I am the luckiest girl in the world. I get to adore 5 of the most amazing kids. I may not be related to one of them but they are my family and I have been adopted into theirs. Who could ask for more?

Gratitude

So, if you paid attention, I did a guest post on a blog the other day. I was so nervous to share such a personal and emotional thing, my weight loss journey. It took two weeks to write and re-write it and add pictures and take them off...there was a lot of second guessing. I really had a lot of nerves. A lot.

I have been so overwhelmed!

I am just amazed at the beautiful words of others.

I have cried over emails and comments and been so grateful that I could seriously scream. I am so beyond words.

"reading your blog inspired me today I am not alone, and you are a big example to me ..."

" Just read your post on Or She Says. It was fantastic and such an awesome story! Very inspiring! "


"I tweeted about this! it's so inspirational!"

"My favorite thing that you said was "your life will only change as much as you want it to." So very true! "

"Wow, that is so inspiring! Thanks for being brave and showing your before and after pictures!"

"You look fabulous and thanks for the motivation :) "


Those were just a few of the comments made and I can't even tell you about the emails! I have so much gratitude in my heart for the amazing chance I have been given to touch other people. I am so blessed!

Pre-Birthday Bash

I have some pretty great friends.

We spent the day giggling and laughing and all in all just having fun.

We started out with a movie, "When in Rome" which was funny. Not the best movie ever, but it was cute. I laughed pretty hard.

We had a few minutes to kill until our dinner reservation was ready so we headed over to Deseret Book and browsed and of course found tons to buy.

Then dinner at a great place, The Sonoran Grill, so good! I loved my fish tacos with mango salsa. So yummy. We had enough of us that we got our own room! Definitely made the day more entertaining.

Then, we went and painted pottery. It was so much fun! I will share pictures soon, I am just ready to get to bed. But it was so much fun. I painted this amazingly cute teapot-for-one where the teapot sits on top of the cup and it is just adorable. Can you guess the colors I did?

I really just had a great time. I have pretty great friends and am so blessed and lucky. It was a great early birthday present. And next week we get the REAL birthday stuff. I can hardly wait.

Sometimes It All Just Works

Sometimes things just work out for the best. I have seen it in my life a million times over. From breaking up with boyfriends, losing jobs, getting odd jobs and life changes. It always seems to work out.

After a lot of thought and discussion with my health care team (yeah, it sounds odd, but I seem to have collected a sizable little group of about 6 health care professionals) I have decided to go off my medication for a trial period. I am really nervous about it. I am afraid of the mood changes and the transition my body will be in, but I am also hopeful. This will gauge if my body has been responding to the hormones and if there are any natural hormones still functioning in my system. If there are, the chance that I might be able to conceive one day get greater. If in fact there aren't, then the discussions start about long term management. It is scary and good all at once. It will all work out for the best though. If I end up having the chance to adopt what a blessing it will be!

In the midst of all the emotional chaos that is mixed into my life I received a wonderful Christmas Gift. An hour long massage. Can you imagine? I only DREAM of stuff like that. So tonight after a long few days and an emotional week, I get to go meet with my trainer and use every bit of energy and grit I have in me at the gym, enjoy a quiet dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and then, the massage.

I am always amazed at how crazy and hectic my life can be and then in the same moment how the hand of the Lord is constantly swooping in to calm, bless and strengthen it.

The Eve of Christmas Eve

I am so grateful today for great friends who love and watch over me. For people who stop me at the gym and say, "You are skinny!", for the smiling girls whose faces lit up as they gave me the blanket they so lovingly made for me. I am so over come with gratitude for people who have adopted me and made me a part of their families this year.

The blessings have abounded in my life in the last few weeks and I am so grateful.

Ok, Fine

I will admit it, I have not had the chance to do anything Christmasy today.

So, I will confess that after watching only the 2nd half of Glee (bummed that I missed the first half, but couldn't wait until it was on Hulu tomorrow!) I wanted to just go to bed. Then I remembered the lack of Christmas in my day. So, I turned on the tree, grabbed a cup of hot chocolate and remembered Christmas's past.

The one thing that resonated through each memory for me was that feeling of peace and joy. It didn't have anything to do with who I was with or wasn't, what I was doing or wasn't but it had everything to with the why.

I am grateful for a day without Christmas, to help me remember the best part.

Be Amazed

Because I am. I just finished my Accounting class (YES!) and I did some number crunching (see what accounting did to me?) and I am proud to say, I got out of there with a B! Yep, me, numbers, accounting=B. I can hardly believe it! I cried more days than should be allowed trying to understand the numbers. I really thought this would be a class I would be doomed to take again. I think this calls for a treat.

My Christmas Spirit for the day was buying my stuff for the Angel Tree. At work we sponsor a couple of kids by doing an angel tree. I am always amazed at how giving and kind people are! One woman picked an angel that said a shirt and came back with a shirt, pants, jacket, socks and a toy! How blessed I am to not only participate in giving this time of year, but to also see how much others are willing to give as well. All I know is that there are two little girls who are going to be very happy come Christmas morning and I get to look into the faces of the people who graciously helped that happen.

Turkey Run

I started my Thanksgiving off with a Turkey Run. I ran most of the three mile course I did (could do up to five, but I pushed too hard training last Saturday and my old fracture is giving me some pain) and it was wonderful. It was so beautiful this morning and it makes it hard not to be thankful for the amazing blessings in my life!

Blessing number 1, living in beautiful Utah. This was at the end of the run and I just struck me how lucky I was to be so blessed to be surrounded by such beautiful scenery all the time. I love seeing the mountains in the background of everything and I love crisp cool air in the mornings.

I am so blessed to be blessed with amazing friends who have become my family. Being so far from my own family I have been so blessed to have amazing people come into my life. In no particular order the ones I feel most grateful for this year are: Logan, Chantal, Melinda, Tricia, Kari and Peter. There are so many more but it is this small set who have truly been such blessings to me this year by being listening ears, shoulders to cry on, late night texts about Taylor Lautner or Hugh Jackman, temple buddies, encouraging messages or telling me that no matter what others say or act like, that I am a beautiful and sweet person.

I am grateful for the gym and my trainer. You have to bored of this by now but the changes in my life have been staggering and a whole new world has opened up to me because of it. 6 days a week I am at the gym working out and I love the person I have become because of that one little fact.

I am so blessed, to know of my worth. I can move mountains, soothe troubled souls, lend a shoulder when needed and I can build and strengthen those around me. How blessed I am!

I am most grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father who has taught me that as long as I do what I know to be right, things will work out. Every time. It may not be in a week, a month or even a year, but in the end it will.

Those are just a few of the things I am thankful for today. Now that that is out of the way, on the the last bit of Black Friday planning...

So Grateful!

I work for some of the most wonderful people. Really. They asked me to come last night and watch the kids (I nanny for them and occasionally do a late afternoon/evening thing). So I packed up my bag-o-tricks and headed over to spend an evening with my three favorite kids. Once getting there I was greeted with smiles, hugs and laughing. Then was given a $30 gift card to my favorite restaurant (ate at sonic and saved gift card for another day), tickets to a New Moon screening at 9:15 (day before it opened, yes!) and some cash for theater treats. I got instructions to enjoy an evening out on the family because they were so grateful for all I do for them. Can we say, ah?

After lots more hugs an a million thank yous I left and started calling fellow New Moon fans. I have read all the books and such, I like them but I am not a fanatic by any means but I do have to say, Go Team Jacob! Edward annoys me, thus the reason I don't like the books, but I have always loved Jacob. Jacob did NOT disappoint in this movie. I liked it much better than the first one, adapted better, flowed better and just in general was good.

All in all a great day. I just felt loved and so appreciative.

Only Ten Things...

I just wanted to pop in and say how blessed I am. I truly am. Why? Let me share.

1. I have a job (or three!)
2. I have a library cards and can check out all the books I want.
3. I have a great phone.
4. I get to enjoy Lunch with Liz once a week.
5. Lunch with Logan is coming again soon.
6. Online classes rock...Ican do them in my jammies at midnight.
7. I have tickets to conference.
8. I have to go shopping, cause my clothes are too big...and falling off!
9. I have the gospel in my life.
10. I have the greatest friends...and I am so lucky to have them when I need them.

Ok, enough of my blessings. I have a million more but I need sleep. Lots of sleep.

Good Night/Good Morning!

Blessing in Trials

So, I have been on birth control for a few months now, trying to get my issues under control. I am all for doing all I can to save what little I have left to save, in hopes that I might one day have my own children, but can I just say that right about now, I am starting to look more closely at the option of just adopting when the time comes.

Without going into tons of detail, it's not working. Even being on the pill has not been enough to fix the problem. Each month I have high hopes, but am plagued by massive cramps, clotting and bleeding. As we try new methods I grow hopeful and then cry as they don't work.

I know that while I am not trying to have children right now, that it still is hard to think to the future when one day I will wish that I could and won't be able to. I am coming to grips with it now, and that is a blessing to know the complications and problems now so that it isn't a surprise later when I was trying, but is still heartbreaking. As a child you imagine and talk about when you will have your own "babies" and the reality that I won't be is hard.

I watch friends and sisters have children and I am so grateful for the blessings they are given, that they don't have to deal with this. I am grateful that I get time to deal with it before I have to cry at not getting pregnant. As hard as it is, it is a blessing. I will be able to sympathize and comfort those who also share my heartbreak. How grateful I am for that.

Miracles

The holiday season always makes me thoughtful. I am more prone to tears and heart warming stories. I am crier anyway, but cry more during the holiday season. So, when I got this little story I reluctantly read it. And, in true form, I was crying by the end. Please read it and then listen to my story.
****
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone.

The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.

He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it.

I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town.

No luck.

The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.

Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in t hat had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.

The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires.

Had angels taken up residence in Indiana? I wondered.

I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.

Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.

Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.

And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.


Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....

THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. 'Yes!'
2. 'Not yet.'
3. 'I have something better in mind.'

You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.
***

What a sweet story of a family in need getting just enough to get by. The mother working her hardest to do what she could and having those around seeing her need and helping when and where they could.

I have experienced miracles in the last few months that while don't pull at the heart stings in the same ways, are just as much a miracle to me.

When I lost my job in March I thought I would find a way to make it work, and I did until July. Then I lost another job and I struggled to find a way to make one very part time job cover the costs of living. Not to mention the thousands of dollars I sunk into a car that never did work again. My family began to have problems. I began to feel like the world was crashing in on me and that I couldn't do anything to make it work.

And the miracles began.

In August an envelope with my name on it found it's way to my house, with $200 in cash in it. Just enough to pay my bills. I struck a deal with Logan, I would cook for him in exchange he would buy my food. One less worry, I could eat.

In September, I worked hard and got extra hours at work and did a few side jobs, almost enough to make it through the month. I pinched pennies and worked my hardest to make everyone believe I had it under control. And I almost did. I hate admitting that I struggled as much as I did.

In October things got messy. Someone paid my rent for me, I still don't know who. Family problems exploded. I spent many days and nights worrying that I wouldn't be able to make things work out. I applied for 4 or 5 jobs a day and nothing ever seemed to pan out. I spent hours on my knee's begging for some sort of respite from the worry and stress. Not to mention the heartache I didn't think I had the heart for anymore. Many tears and hugs filled that month for me.

November I began to see light. The miracle of the cars graced my life. A car for cheap came into my life and through many miracles, it sits in my driveway. And then someone came and bought my old car, not anywhere near what I put into it, but enough that it made the stress of the last month melt away. I can pay all my bills and be ok. I also was blessed with a job. Not the most glamorous, but a job. I had the blessing of a tremendous bout of answered prayers from my Father in Heaven and great friends. And just last week, a few extra bucks showed up in my mail box.

When I have felt like I couldn't make it another day, when there was less than nothing in my bank account and when I felt the most alone, I was blessed. I was given what I needed. I had miracles happen.

I don't have much, and I can't surprise anyone with four new tires or cash, but I want to be the miracle in someone else's life. I want to be looking for the people who could use what I have to offer. I want to be able to help be the lord's hands this holiday season and through the rest of my life.

Grateful

I am grateful for friends who let me use their washing machine.

I am grateful for my weekly bowling night and knowing that I get to share it with one of my best friends.

I am grateful for weekly temple visits and the peace they bring.

I am grateful for a car that works.

I am grateful for the Mexicans who paid me to take away my piece of crap old car.

I am grateful for the internet and the connection the world that brings me.

I am grateful for cheese, all kinds, colors and flavors.

I am grateful for mac-and-cheese.

I am grateful for my ability to cook and the means to do it.

I am grateful for miracles.

I am grateful for shoes. All colors, kinds and comfort level.

I am grateful for make-up.

I am grateful for my ipod.

I am grateful for my faith, testimony and desire to grow.

I am grateful for 18 year olds who challenge my way of thinking, and my patience.

I am grateful for children who always have a hug for me.

I have so much to be grateful for this year. I have been so blessed this year. I have realized how loved I am by so many people and have learned to love more deeply those in my life. I have been blessed to have amazing people come into my life to share in my journey. I have been blessed to be able to look outside of what I thought was my support system to find what was.

I could choose to look back at this past year in many different ways, but I chose to look back on this year as the year I was blessed with two of the best friends in the world, who loved, encouraged and blessed me with late night talks, food galore, pictures and video to be cherished for a lifetime and a greater love for my Father in Heaven. They have become my family and I am so grateful and blessed to have them as a part of my life. I thank my Father in Heaven daily for them and their love daily. Thank you Tricia and Logan...there are no words to express how much I love the two of you.

I hope this holiday season allows you to show love toward those who need it. I am so grateful for the feeling of hope and happiness that abounds this time of year. I had no less than 4 people I didn't know wish me a happy holiday at the grocery store yesterday...I hope that I can be more like that this holiday season.

Blessed

I had the most amazing four days. I wish I could put into words what I really feel, but I know that these words could never express what I have felt lately.

.

We all know I have had a rough year all around. I have struggled with so many things and have had moments when I was really low. I have also had miracles of the grandest kinds show up in my life. It has been a year of amazing and heartbreaking moments.

.

I had the opportunity to attend the temple 3 times in four days and really enjoyed every moment of it. I had the chance to do a session, a bunch of sealings and some baptisms as well. It was so amazing to see the whole process in a few days. It was such an amazing experience for me. I felt so calm and peaceful and so sure that I am known by my Father in Heaven and that there is plan for me. An amazing, spectacular and perfect plan for me. I don’t pretend to know anything about it or how it will work out; I just know that it will.

.

I was so blessed to have shared these amazing experiences with wonderful people. People who, for reasons I sometimes don’t understand, love and want to be with me. I realized just how much some people care for and about me. I am just so blessed to have a realization about how loved and needed I am right here where I am.

.

It is no secret that I love my family. It is also no secret that things have not been well between my family and I in the last few months. For reasons I don’t understand and with many tears I have struggled with feeling alone and unwanted by my family. It has been an unreal experience. Through this last weekend I have realized that no matter what, no matter how hard and frustrated we all are at the moment, my family is forever. What a blessing to know that no matter what I am sealed to my parents and siblings. How grateful I am for that.

.

I am so grateful for the chance to share this weekend and these experiences with Logan. He has been my family in the last few months and I can not express how grateful I am for having him as a part of my life. He has listened as I cried in pain and anger. He danced with me when I just needed to get out of it all. He taught me to play xbox. He challenged me to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year and checks to make sure I am on my way. He fixes my doors, vacuums my floor and tells me that I am a great cook. He helps pick out guys that are good for me and doesn’t let me settle for anything less than what I deserve. I wish I could express how grateful I am for his encouragement and friendship. Our friendship has grown as we serve together in the temple, on our Mid-Singles committee and each other. I have grown to love him and him me. I know that this is sadly only a limited time thing, one day both of us will get married and I won’t have him around like I do now. I am grateful to have had him at all. He will make some girl very happy one day.

.

I know that I am blessed. I know while struggles seem to follow me at the moment that I am blessed and that I would do it all again. I would feel all the fear, dejection, heartache and frustration to be who I am and where I am today. I love who I have become and I am grateful for the roads that led me here.