Time Just Slips By

Well, this month is almost done. I can't hardly believe that is is almost march! It seems that time just slips by anymore. I am going through some life changes and it makes everything seem so much more crazy in my life.

As you know I celebrated my birthday last week. I had a blast and enjoyed the turning of years. I was asked about a year ago to continue to stay in my singles ward to help with the stake committee I was on. So, I stayed. It was a fun and interesting year but as this year came to a close and the next was on the verge of beginning I felt the need to move on. Talking with my bishop I decided that I would make the transition to my family ward. It was hard to say goodbye to regular meetings with friends in the old ward, but I knew that it was the right thing. So, I joined a new ward.

I feel at home in the new ward. I know it is where I am supposed to be, but it does not make it easy all the time. I feel bad sitting in pew at church that a family needs. I feel out of place as couples younger than me walk in with 4 kids and one on the way. I feel out of place with widows and divorced women with kids and families whose lives they are all wrapped up in. I feel like I am alone in the sea of church members.

Do not think I am throwing a pity party, I am not. I love my life. I love the business of it, the freedom I enjoy and the happiness at knowing I am where I am supposed to be. It just isn't what you imagine for yourself, you know? I sometimes envy those young families and the stage of life they are in and I sometimes envy the grandmothers who get to lovingly dote on their grandchildren. I sometimes wish I was in one of those stages of life. I also am so grateful I am not. I know it doesn't always make sense to most of my family and friends who married young, or even in their mid-twenties, but I lead a very happy and fulfilled life. I love my work, I love my friends, I love the chances and opportunities I have. I love that I have been in the right place at the right time for so many people. I could go rescue a friend whose husband was out of town and a kid had to go to the hospital. I could be with the other kids. I could be there when friends lost people they loved, I have been there. I have been able to offer help and advice to so many people. What a blessed life I have led to be able to have helped in the ways that I have. I have given so much and recieved so much in return.

Do not think of me as poor Nichole who is still single and how devastating that must be. How hard it must be. It can be some days, I don't have someone to come home to to share my days with, good and bad or someone else to bring home a paycheck when I get sick, but I have blessings beyond compare. I may feel lonely and out of place at times but I am right where I need to be. I am loved and needed and happy. There is nothing else better than that.