Blam

Ok, so one my favorite sites to visit every day is Woot.com. They sell various eltronic stuff super cheap. Well tuesday is two-for-one day. they call it "2 4 Tuesday". The descriptions of the items always make me laugh. Today, this one really got me going so I had to share.

Viktor 375-B: See, there’s the scar, right there behind my ear.

Bobb M-99-9: Whoa. Man.

Laara V77-9L: Did it hurt?

Viktor 375-B: Yeah, it hurt like hell. Still does. But it’s not like I had a choice, right? The Directorate has spoken. So when are you guys getting yours done?

Bobb M-99-9: Got an appointment at the Biodrome next Jebsday morning.

Laara V77-9L: Actually, you know, I was thinking maybe I wouldn’t get one.

Viktor 375-B: What? But you heard the decree.

Bobb M-99-9: The Directorate says all citizens must have FM radios implanted into their skulls, to receive emergency alerts in the event of alien attack. It’s a matter of planetary security.

Laara V77-9L: Yeah, I know. But see, I’ve got this Lobeman Earpiece FM Radio that works just as well. It clamps on tight, the battery lasts 20 hours, the reception is great – and it doesn’t require a Directorate surgeon to go digging around inside my skull. I mean, think about it: do you have any idea what those guys really do to you while you’re laying there unconscious?

Bobb M-99-9: I guess I never thought about it like that.

Laara V77-9L: Yeah, I mean, they could plant a tracking transmitter in there, or a thought-modification module, or anything they want, really.

Viktor 375-B: Huh. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I wonder if it’s too late to have mine remo- I mean, that’s subversive talk! Willingly disobeying an order of the state is a capital offense! I hereby arrest you in the name of the Directorate! Place your hands over your –

(BLAM!)

Bobb M-99-9: Nice shot, Laara! That was a close one. Shame about Viktor, though. I’d always considered him a friend.

Laara V77-9L: The Viktor we knew was gone as soon as he underwent their procedure. Our only friends now are our guns and our Lobeman Earpiece FM Radios.

Pick up your Lobeman Earpiece FM Radios, $4.99 for two ($5 dollar shipping) at Woot.com