Life takes funny twists and turns and never turns out the way you think you wanted it. Not that everyone hasn't had those things happen and had hard times, because I know some of you have and I know the stories. I am not claiming that I had it easier or worse than anyone else I know. All I know is it has been and was hard.
I was engaged to a guy I was ready to marry. I loved him and was ready to be his wife. He broke it off after his brother committed suicide and blamed me for not spending enough time with him. That about killed me. It was just a very hard time for me. I have struggled with that situation for years. Recently I had a dream where I sat and talked with this guy about everything, how it had ended and how I felt about it all and how much I hurt about it. Then, after I had said all I needed he wished me well and I woke up. I felt suddenly very free of the whole thing. I know that was a gift from my Heavenly Father to help me move along in my life and to be prepared for the things coming in my life.
I have had some health issues lately that have been incredibly hard to deal with. This is VERY girlie, so unless you are prepared for that, don't read any further...
I had some female issues with my cycles and with cysts. I had been in the same cycle (if you catch my drift) for four months straight. I was exhausted and upset and concerned about the ramifications of this situation on my long term ability to have children. I spent many nights crying about it. I went to church fasting a few weeks ago for a peace about the whole thing and if possible, to be healed. At church I had the impression to ask my home teachers for a blessing. Of course I did. They came and gave me a blessing after church and by noon the next day, it was all done. I went to the doctor a dew days later and he was baffled that I had suddenly recovered with no other complications and all tests looked normal. I was healed that day.
I may have hard times and I may feel alone and confused regularly, but I know that my Heavenly Father knows my fears and pain. I know that he loves me and wants me to be happy and that if I go to him, having faith he can and will heal me spiritually and physically.
I do not know where my road will lead. I don't know what is around the next bend or hill top. What I do know is that I can handle anything with my Father in Heaven on my side and my faith.
4 comments:
Thanks for your uplifting story Nikki. I just got a new calling in the Primary Presidency so I miss out on good ol' RS lessons. This was my lesson for the day, and I am on my way to do some service. (I have had two, count em' TWO big kicks in the pants about doing service this week... and this was one of them. I am going to get up and actually DO IT! I love the pic of you and the road and the way you worked it into your post.
I thought the picture worked perfectly for this post, so I had to add it. It was one of those things that while it was good for me I know it is something to share with others too. I am a firm believer in learning from others and that not everything that happens in our lives are just for us. It is meant to be shared.
Thanks for sharing! There are so many heart aches and breaks in life, it is sometimes very hard to remember the miracles when you are in the middle of the trials. You are so good at sharing the miracles. Thanks!
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