Reminders of the Past and Glimpse of the Future

Time moves so quickly anymore. Everytime I think that I can catch up I find myself falling short. Go to work, class, meetings, parties, stores and then find time to clean your house, your car...oh and you! I find myself losing track of the little things and then finding myself stressed out. I am really good at the stressed out look.

I found myself stressed out a great deal in the last few days. They released me from my calling at church, which you would think would be a relief and a good thing, but I burst into tears when they did it. Which means I got a new calling. I am the new compassionate service leader. Why I am I so stressed about that?

I stumbled across a box today in some of my cleaning and found pictures and letters from the ex-fiance. It was hard to take myself back to that time because it felt like it was so long ago now. I wondered if I would ever feel that way about it, and I do. I looked at pictures of us together and at the Cd's he had made me and for a moment I went back in my mind to that time in my life. What happened with that relationship defined who I was for a while.

Then, the words of president Monson from women's conference over the weekend came to my mind, "pray that your abilities will match your trials, and you will become the miracle" (ok, not word perfect, but it is the jist). The miracle of the moment hit me. I had done it, I had gotten through the hardest time in my life and while this stress right now might be hard and seems to drain my abilities, I know I can do it. I have done it before and I can do again.

I have watched my friends grow and change and become amazing people. I have encouraged and fostered growth for the amazing people the lord has put into my life. Now I finally see that the Lord been fostering that growth in me this whole time.

I am an intelligent, funny, spiritual and determined woman. How grateful I am for the amazing blessings and trials that the lord has given me to make me into the woman that I am.