I have had a rough time of late trying to pay all the bills and such. I was doing some nanny work this summer during the few months I have off from my regular job (which starts back in august after some construction work) and the family decided last minute to go back east for the summer. So I have been frantically trying to make things work for another six weeks.
Well yesterday I went to church and thought about not paying my tithing (for non-LDS we chose to pay 10% to the church to help with welfare programs, building meeting houses, and that sort of thing. It is a choice.) because I just didn't have the money to cover all the bills anyway. But, I made the choice and said a prayer as I handed the envelope over to the bishop. I went home and decided to leave it up to the lord today and worry about it tomorrow.
Yesterday afternoon I hosted Sunday lunch for my ward. While I was in the kitchen finishing flipping the last of the pancakes, someone came to the house and with so many people coming and going it was not hard to blend in. They handed a white envelope to someone and asked them to give it to me. They asked who to say it was from and they just said make sure she gets it and left. They didn't think much of it and came into the kitchen and gave it to me. I thought it was just a note or something and set it aside.
Later that afternoon in the cleaning up process I found the envelope again and opened it up to find $200 in cash. No note or anything, just $200. Which is the amount I needed to clear this months bills.
No one likes to admit that times are hard or that they can't provide for themselves. I hate to share with the world that I am not financially a huge success, but right now I'm not. I am working hard to do the things I need to stay afloat but it is hard to find work for only 6 weeks. This is not a story about poor Nichole, but more on making the hard choices even when they are right, and being there to be the person or people who can contribute to a moment in someones life where that needed $200, an afternoon of Mommy only time, a meal for a heartbroken family or whatever someone stands in need of.
I know that my Father in Heaven loves me and watches out for me. I know that my tear filled prayers wondering why things are hard and so different than the way I imagined them to be, are heard. I know that there is a plan of happiness and it doesn't exclude me or anyone else. I know that I am a deserving person and that while I am not perfect, I am loved, needed, appreciated and wanted. I know it.
Oh, and PS, I may or may not have had a very good experience last night around a bonfire with a boy, or two. An experience that may or may not have had some repercussions that may lead some interesting evenings in the very near future. I may or may not have. ;)
Well yesterday I went to church and thought about not paying my tithing (for non-LDS we chose to pay 10% to the church to help with welfare programs, building meeting houses, and that sort of thing. It is a choice.) because I just didn't have the money to cover all the bills anyway. But, I made the choice and said a prayer as I handed the envelope over to the bishop. I went home and decided to leave it up to the lord today and worry about it tomorrow.
Yesterday afternoon I hosted Sunday lunch for my ward. While I was in the kitchen finishing flipping the last of the pancakes, someone came to the house and with so many people coming and going it was not hard to blend in. They handed a white envelope to someone and asked them to give it to me. They asked who to say it was from and they just said make sure she gets it and left. They didn't think much of it and came into the kitchen and gave it to me. I thought it was just a note or something and set it aside.
Later that afternoon in the cleaning up process I found the envelope again and opened it up to find $200 in cash. No note or anything, just $200. Which is the amount I needed to clear this months bills.
No one likes to admit that times are hard or that they can't provide for themselves. I hate to share with the world that I am not financially a huge success, but right now I'm not. I am working hard to do the things I need to stay afloat but it is hard to find work for only 6 weeks. This is not a story about poor Nichole, but more on making the hard choices even when they are right, and being there to be the person or people who can contribute to a moment in someones life where that needed $200, an afternoon of Mommy only time, a meal for a heartbroken family or whatever someone stands in need of.
I know that my Father in Heaven loves me and watches out for me. I know that my tear filled prayers wondering why things are hard and so different than the way I imagined them to be, are heard. I know that there is a plan of happiness and it doesn't exclude me or anyone else. I know that I am a deserving person and that while I am not perfect, I am loved, needed, appreciated and wanted. I know it.
Oh, and PS, I may or may not have had a very good experience last night around a bonfire with a boy, or two. An experience that may or may not have had some repercussions that may lead some interesting evenings in the very near future. I may or may not have. ;)
2 comments:
I think sometimes it is most comfortable to be the one who is giving the service, but it is a blessing to recieve service, and a personal testimony of the way the Lord meets our needs is something you will never forget. You will always remember this and one day when your situation has changed you will find the joy of being so in tune with th spirit that you can be a part of the tender mercies of the lord in someone elses life. Thank you for sharing this, what a great testimony of tithing and the joy of listening to the spirit.
I am so happy for you. I don't know how it always works out, but somehow you pay your tithing and everything just works. It's amazing what the lord can do.
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