Remember...

...when we thought being a grown up meant sleeping in, eating whatever and whenever we wanted. When you didn't have to clean your room or have a curfew?

Remember when you realized while it was all true, it also meant that you had other things to do and that while you could do all those things you almost didn't want to?

I am just having one of those stressful weeks when I wish I could go back to being a teenager (not because I really want to do that again) just so someone else could deal with all the grown up stuff for a few days.

When I mentioned that I was stressed in front of one of the kids I know you know what they told me? "Maybe you just need to go take a nap and not play with your friends today. That is what my mom makes me do."

Hm. Sound advice from kids.

Dreams

Do you dream? Things you can remember? I dream. I dream a lot.

Last night I had a dream that I got shot. In the shoulder. I woke up and my shoulder hurts. Now I know I wasn't shot, but isn't it odd that my shoulder hurts?

I dream all kinds of things and I often wonder what in the world my head is thinking and dealing with to produce some of the dreams I have. I deal with things very differently than lots of people, I read and I clean. I have read 3 books in the last two weeks. I haven't cleaned lately, but I should. Isn't that odd? I think it is. But it is me and I am ok with it.

I wonder how other people deal with stress. Do they have their own odd ways of coping, or is there a loop of tried and true stress relief that I don't know about? I have no idea. I just keep smiling and going through the days knowing that one day I will wake up and suddenly not have this stress between my shoulders, the little headache that tickles at the edges from lack of sleep and not eating won't be there. Hard work always pays off, and I am working hard.

At least the latest dreams weren't about aliens who forced everyone to Australia where my mom opened an underwear shop because there was a shortage. that was an odd dream.

Silver Lining

I like to think that there is always a silver lining to every dark cloud. If you are sick, it is that you remember that it is a blessing to be healthy. If you get a flat tire, that you really need to be aware of your tires so that you are grateful for full tires. I like it that way. I like to think I am an optimist.
I am about "this" (imagine fingers just barely apart) close to losing that optimism. This year has just chewed me up ans spit me out. I am working really hard to make things work and to keep a smile on my face, but I just hate waking up everyday to something else that has gone wrong, not worked out, or is suddenly a problem. The umbrella that I am using to keep that rain away, is getting a little beat up, you know?
I am not saying that there aren't some good things in my life, there are. Just more not so great. So, in an attempt to help remind myself that there is a silver lining, I am listing the GOOD things in my life at the moment.

1) My roommates Melinda and Danny. Ok, so they aren't really roommates, but live in the basement apartment. They are so wonderful. Melinda has been letting me use her car while mine has been in the shop. All three times. It has been two weeks this time and she has been so nice and wonderful. They also are my gardening partners and I have enjoyed the hours of weeding and planting. I am so grateful that they are in my life.

2) I am grateful for little kids who love "secrets" from me. I tell the greatest secrets. I say something silly and then tickle for all I'm worth. I see kids I know in the store and they will run up and ask for secrets. I love it. I love that they love it.

3) I love that the other ladies I work with call me "the baby whisperer" and " the story teller". I love that they see strengths in me and remind me of them. I like that I am reminded of them even after years of being away from kids.

4)I am grateful for people who love me and let me use their washing machine. Since ours went out a month ago (oh the joys of not having the money to replace it!) I have been very blessed by people who have allowed me to "borrow" their miracle of machine to wash unmentionables.

5) I am so grateful for people who really have no idea that they make my day. A smile or a seemingly unimportant little compliment means a lot. Especially when times are hard. So thank you to all of those.

6) I am thankful that my sisters have blogs. It seems small, but that little connection means a lot.

7) I am thankful that I have 3 callings at church. Compassionate service coordinator, a temple calling and on a pilot stake committee that is for single adults 27 to 31. The goal for this wonderful new committee? To meet and marry your eternal companion. haha.

8) I am grateful for food storage.

That is my silver lining.